Unacceptable truth of yourself...!

How much do you know yourself...? 100% or 75% or 50%..? No one can say that I know myself very well. Because our mind speaks one, our heart says one and we do something else. How many of you have planned something and have done right opposite to it or just not that exact plan.  Life is not a straight line or set timeline of milestones, you need to realize in the first place. It is fine if you do not complete your school or college, if you get married, finding a job which supports you, having a family, making money and live securely at this age or that age. It’s okay if you do, as long as your realize that if you are not married by 25 or become a president by 30 or even happy, for that matter this world is not going to convict you.  You are allowed to retrace your steps. You are allowed to figure out what inspires you. You are allowed time, but often we forget that. We choose a subject right out of high school because the proper thing to do is to go straight to University. We choose a job right out of University, even if we dint love the subject we have to do it, because we have invested lot of money and time into it. We go to work every morning because we need to support ourselves and our families abundantly. We keep on doing this assuming that we are fulfilling the responsibilities of our life, and one fine day we wake up depressed, stressed out with lot of pressure, not knowing where you went wrong and what’s wrong. This is how you ruin your life without knowing.

You ruin your life by choosing a wrong partner for your life. What is it with our need to fast track connection in relationships? Why are we so captivated with the thought of first becoming somebody’s instead of somebodies? Trust me when I say that an adoration bred out of convenience, a love affection that blooms from the need to sleep beside someone, a love affection that panders to our requirement for attention than passion, is a love that won’t inspire you at 6 am when your roll over and embrace it. 

Endeavor to find foundational love, the sort of relationship that propels you to be a better man or woman, the sort of closeness that is rare rather than right there. “But I don’t want to be alone,” we often cry out. Be alone, eat alone, explore the places alone, and sleep alone. In the midst of this you will learn about yourself. You will grow and figure out what inspires you, you will create your own dreams, your own beliefs, your own stunning clarity and when you meet the person who makes your cells dance, you will be sure of it, because you are sure and confident of yourself. So wait for it, fight for it and make an effort for it. If you have already found it, care it because it is the most beautiful thing your heart will ever experience.

Most of them ruin their life by letting their past rule it. It is very common for certain things in life to happen. There will be heartbreak, confusion, days where you feel like you aren’t special or focused. There are moments that will stay with you, words that will stick but these cannot define you – it’s just a moment and simple words. If you allow every negative things in your life to outline how you view yourself, you will view the world around you negatively. You will miss out an opportunities because you dint get that promotion 2 years ago, convincing yourself that you were stupid, useless. You will miss out an affection because you assume your past love left you because you weren’t good enough or taken for granted. Because of this, now you don’t believe the man or the women who urges you to believe you are. This is cyclic, self-satisfying prescience. If you don’t allow yourself to move on what happened in the past, you will look at your future with that lens, and nothing will be able to breach that judgment. You will keep on justifying, reliving and fueling a perception that you shouldn’t have existed in the first place.

You ruin your life when you compare yourself to others. The amount of facebook followers you have does not decrease or increase your value. The amount of money in your bank account will not influence your compassion, your intelligence or your happiness. The person who has twice the possession than you does not have double the bliss or double the merit. We always check what our friends are linking, who our significant others are following and at the end of the day this not only ruins our lives but also ruins us. It creates within us this need to feel important, and in many cases we often put others down to achieve that.

You ruin your life by pacifying yourself. We all are afraid to say too much, to feel too deeply, to let people know what they mean to us. Caring is not synonymous with crazy. Expressing to someone how special they are will make you vulnerable. There is no denying that. However, that is nothing to be ashamed of. There is something breathtakingly beautiful in the moments of smaller magic that occur when you open up and being honest with those who are important to you. Let that girl or guy know that she/he inspires you. Tell your mother/father you love her/him in front of your friends. Express, express, express. Open up yourself, do not harden yourself to the world, and be bold in who and how, you love. There is courage in that.

You ruin your life by tolerating it. At the end of the day you should be excited to be alive. When you settle for anything less than what you naturally desire, you destroy the possibility that lives inside you, and in that way you cheat both yourself and the world of your potential. A person could be sitting behind a laptop right now writing an invoice for paperclips, because it pays the bills, or because it is comfortable, or because he can tolerate it. Do not let this happen to you. Do not ruin your life this way. Life and work, and life and love, are not irrespective of each other. They are intrinsically linked. We have to strive to do extraordinary work, we have to strive to find extraordinary love. Only then will we tap into an extraordinarily blissful life.

How to Reduce the Stress of New Motherhood

A woman becomes an entirely different person as regards her appearance, attitudes, social status and responsibilities after childbirth. All these biological- psychological – social changes make a definite impact on the mental health of the mother.

In the first few weeks after birth, majority (75-85%) of mothers experience moodiness. They become morose, tired and worry excessively. These are called ’Blues’ and go away in 1 – 2 weeks’ time. As it is so common and the mother recovers quickly on her own, Blues is regarded as a mild moodiness which does not need medical treatment.

Sometimes, the mother becomes more and more disturbed emotionally and is unable to recover. She may feel very sad, tried, worried about trival things and unable to sleep restfully. In some cases she may appear abnormally cheerful, active and restless. In the most serious instances the mother becomes either still like a stature or excited to the point of violence. She may become suspicious and have false beliefs or hear voices. In all these situations, the mother is unable to care for herself and her newborn. There is a real danger that the mother may harm herself or her baby. Women who have had a pervious episode of mental disorder, a difficult pregnancy or delivery and do not have much support at home are more prone to such disorders.  All these conditions require urgent care of a qualified psychiatrist.

Even the mildest emotional problems can affect the capacity of mother to care for herself and her baby. It is possible that other family members help the mother in feeding or caring for the baby and take care of the mother as well. But ‘emotional nourishment’ can be provided only by the mother. Hence, the most disastrous consequence of emotional problem after deliver is that it affects the mother-baby bonding and attachment. This can lead to lot of emotional and behavioral problems in the child and dissatisfaction with motherhood.

Every woman must cultivate her mental health along with her physical health right from the time she starts planning for a baby. A woman with prior mental illness should make a proper plan about her mental health care during pregnancy and delivery. Women should get proper diet, rest and help in managing the household and employment during this time. All pregnant women and mothers should be screened for mental disorders. The couple can avail of counseling if they feel any mental distress or even doubts.

In the event that the mother suffers mental illness after delivery, urgent psychiatric treatment should be provided. It is of utmost importance that the mother recovers as early as possible and starts to bond with the baby. Many safe medications are available for use. Electroconvulsive treatment is often prescribed in this phase as it gives almost instant results and is perfectly safe.

The mother-child bond is the starting point of a new relationship. The mother’s mental health should be safe guarded to ensure a strong bond and a healthy relationship.